Thursday, December 2, 2010

Should of been

Today was our due date. I should have a new born baby in my arms, or have one any day now. Instead, I'm five days from finding out if a little boy or girl will be joining my family in May.

I'm filled with such mixed emotions. I'm sad thinking about the baby I won't know this side of Heaven. But thrilled thinking and dreaming about the child I'm carrying. I'm relieved to have gotten pregnant again so quickly. It's helping make this day easier.

While I'm so glad to be pregnant, the baby that we lost this spring is missed, loved and remembered. And always will be.

6 comments:

Kierstyn said...

I'm sorry that today's a hard day. I'm sorry that you lost your baby. I'm sorry that this side of Heaven, our family didn't get to welcome a new cousin/niece or nephew/grandbaby into our family.

We also love, miss and remember your baby.

Love you!

Unknown said...

Already, but not yet.

We talked about this phrase in our small group last night. It reminds us that we already have a knowledge and awareness of God, His love, His plan for us, even heaven, but we don't know it fully...not yet.

Your post brought this phrase to my mind because we have a knowledge and awareness of the baby we didn't fully know...not yet.

And also the excitement for this new baby we anticipate with the faith that we will grow in getting to know her...or him...already, but not yet.

I love you.
Daddy

momma said...

I agree with everything Kierstyn and Daddy have said. I am so thankful that we all have the joy of the new baby and yet that doesn't take away the sense of loss. I'm thankful for God's perfect timing. I'm thankful for the amazing strength, faith, grace and wisdom you and Matt have shown through this difficult time!

Amanda said...

Love you! I know this is really hard . ...

Deirdre said...

Meggie,

I know exactly how you are feeling. Remember, I lost a baby between Sarah and Alex. I too was pregnant again by the time my original due date arrived. And although I can't imagine my life without Alex - I often wonder and can't wait to meet my baby.

Hang in there ...

Love ya - Deirdre

Megan said...

Thanks for all the love and support. It's good to know that there are others who remember our baby.