Mommy Guilt

I thought I knew what "mommy guilt" was. Having Ephram opened my eyes to a whole new relm of guilt! I feel guilty for not playing enough with Jeremiah. I feel guilty about leaving Ephram in his bouncer while I play with Jeremiah. I feel guilty that I can't keep up with my house, laundry and dishes the way I was used to. I feel guilty that by the time Matt gets home I'm so tried and covered in spit up and Jeremiah's lunch that I don't care about his day. I feel guilty over the many projects I've started and haven't been able to finish. I feel guilty over the small amount of time I make to spend with the Lord. I feel guilty for wasting the "free time" I get. I could go on, but you get the idea. Guilt. Lots of it.

Matt's been such an encouragement to me as I've shared my struggles with him. He gave me freedom from some of the guilt by telling me he does not care about the house being clean. I still keep it picked up, but I'm not freaking out about when I vacuumed last. Trust me, you don't want to know when that was. Honestly, I don't know either. He's been amazing about getting home from work and hitting the ground running to give me a break. Literally! Jeremiah would play chase with his daddy all day!

There's a new song, Everything You Do by Steven Curtis Champan that's been encouraging to me. Helps me get my focus on what my priorities need to be and how the other stuff isn't that important. Here's the first verse and chores of the song

You’re picking up toys on the living room floor
for the 15th time today
Matching up socks and sweeping up lost
Cheerios that got away
You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips
and head out the door
And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
We’ll let me remind you it all matters just as long as you

Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do

I just stumbled across a blog that dealt with this. I was so refreshed by the blog. To be reminded of the value in what I'm doing by being a Momma, because this is what I've been called to do. It's not an easy calling, more times then not it's pretty darn scary! But through God's grace my boys and I make it through each day. And I learn a little more about how to be the Momma God created me to be.